According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
