He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
pray to the hookup gods
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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