My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
