Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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