i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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