i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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