Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
