you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
