similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
