i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
