im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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