I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
