God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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