when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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