I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I need water and some morals
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