Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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