You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
