Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
