I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
