So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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