so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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