Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
everyone is single if you try hard enough
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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