Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Randomize
