I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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