i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
