Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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