Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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