I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
