i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
