It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
