none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
