Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
They took my balls.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
