She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
