so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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