You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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