if you like me you must not know who I am
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
