so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
