i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
3 2 1 whiskey
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
