At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
