i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
