If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
