That's when you crack a 10am beer
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
