so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
