So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
