reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize