just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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