Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
