i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
