you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Four minutes until I can fart!
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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