I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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