i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
