She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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