dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
