I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
