I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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