What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
