What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I party with great urgency now.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
