It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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