You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
