if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
