wanna go halves on a baby?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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