Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's shark week go big or go home
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
