Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
