god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
