he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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