how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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