I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
