Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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