Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
