i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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