careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize