Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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