To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
