He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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